


Desperate Measures

by miss_aligned



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Spacer (Mass Effect), War Hero (Mass Effect)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2018-11-05 22:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11022642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_aligned/pseuds/miss_aligned
Summary: Kaidan Alenko and Commander Shepard get more than they bargained for when they're assigned to the same vessel. It's good. It's bad. It's a wild ride for which neither are prepared.





	1. Chapter 1

“I’m telling you. Something’s up.”

Kaidan glanced up from his footlocker, having nearly finished packing away his meager belongings for the assignment ahead. He sighed to himself and turned his attention back to his mostly-standard-issue possessions. “I thought you were looking for some excitement, Jenkins. Change your mind?”

“Hell no,” the young corporal responded. He haphazardly tossed the few items he had left to fit into his footlocker and pressed it all down in an effort to get the container to close properly. “I’m ready. But really, if we have a turian Spectre on board and Commander Shepard… it just seems more than your standard shakedown run, doesn’t it?”

As Kaidan finished closing away his neatly pressed uniforms and orderly personal effects, he shrugged his shoulders. He chuckled at Jenkins, who was struggling with his footlocker, knowing that it would all fit if he’d simply organize it. “Or maybe you’re just overreacting. This ship _was_ a human and turian initiative, after all.”

“Hmmph,” Jenkins responded, settling for the footlocker being mostly closed. “I guess we’ll see.”

The pair made their way to the bridge of the SSV Normandy, where other members of the crew were already hard at work preparing the fabled frigate for its voyage. Kaidan couldn’t help but cast Jenkins a questioning glance. Skilled though he was in the field, he wasn’t exactly the most stellar engineer, which was the primary sort of work that needed to be done in this particular region of the ship.

The corporal merely shrugged as the edge of his lips curled into a mischievous grin. “Just checking things out,” was the only explanation he offered for his relatively unusual presence on the bridge. He chuckled when a datapad was shoved into his hand and Kaidan pointed him at a console to check. If he was going to be here, he could at least make himself useful.

It was a sudden quiet among the busy crew that caught Kaidan’s attention to the fact that something was happening. He’d managed to wedge himself under a panel that needed some last minute adjustment and almost missed the smooth hiss of the vessel’s airlock opening. He could hear Captain Anderson’s voice, so he inched his way out of the cramped space and moved to stand. It was then that another voice caught his attention. It wasn’t familiar. It wasn’t human.

Spectre Nihlus strode forward with confidence, allowing his gaze to drift thoughtfully across the interior of the ship. Captain Anderson stopped just behind him, hands folded behind his back, clearly allowing the frigate and its crew to speak for itself. Kaidan stood at attention, unsure if there was supposed to be some sort of official announcement or introduction for the turian coming aboard. After a nod of acknowledgement from the captain, he quickly turned his focus back to the work at hand, like the others around him. All, except, of course, Jenkins, who was rather obviously staring at the turian with rapt attention.

It took a firm elbow to the side for Jenkins to snap out of his reverie. “You act like you’ve never seen a turian before,” Kaidan whispered.

The corporal muttered something then, though Kaidan couldn’t quite make out the words. Somewhat reluctantly, Jenkins tore his eyes away from the Spectre and fixed them back to the datapad in his hands. The staring hadn’t made much of an impact, fortunately, as Nihlus and Anderson both turned away to progress further into the vessel.

Kaidan watched Jenkins for a moment, though he simply stared at, or through, the datapad. Without a word, the lieutenant turned his attention back to the panel he’d been previously consumed with and left his companion to his thoughts. Kaidan wasn’t nearly as concerned with this entire situation as Jenkins appeared to be. His job was to work on the Normandy, answer to those in charge, and potentially throw things about a bit with the power of his mind. It all seemed pretty simple, really. He smiled to himself.

Just as he located a problematic connection and began to make the necessary adjustments, Kaidan received a light kick in the side. Whipping his head around, he saw many legs swathed in Alliance standard blue, all quickly rushing about and then coming to a stop at attention, much like when Nihlus and Captain Anderson had boarded. He rose to stand quickly, just in time to see a woman step into view. There was no mistaking her. He’d seen the vids and photos just like everyone else. She was young and already a hero. Commander Shepard.

He offered her a salute like any other soldier might, but stayed where he was and watched. Unlike Nihlus and Anderson, Commander Shepard took her time acknowledging the crew. She shook hands, exchanged a few words, smiled. It struck him as odd that she might show such interest in the people that manned this storied vessel. It was refreshing, actually.

“You act like you’ve never seen a woman before,” came the snarky observation of the corporal at his side.

“Very funny,” Kaidan flatly answered. Despite the ridiculousness of the comment, it caused the lieutenant to avert his gaze. He suddenly realized that his attentiveness could have been misconstrued as staring, and that was certainly not his intent.

“Commander,” Jenkins said a little too loudly as he stepped ahead of Kaidan. He offered her a proper salute before introducing himself. “Corporal Richard Jenkins.”

“Nice to meet you,” she responded, stepping confidently forward and shaking his hand. “Lia Shepard. Have you been with the Normandy long, Jenkins?”

“No, ma’am. Alenko and I were only recently assigned,” he answered, with a jerk of his head in Kaidan’s direction. The moment her dark eyes followed his gesture and landed on him, he felt incredibly small. She wasn’t an imposing person by any stretch of the imagination. Short brown hair, average height, athletic build… she appeared as any average marine, but there was some sort of intensity about her that he couldn’t quite identify.

“Kaidan Alenko,” he offered before clearing his throat and adding, “Lieutenant.”

“Hello, Lieutenant,” she rather cheerily replied. She shook his hand with a surprisingly solid grip. “I’ve heard some incredible things about this ship. Have you gotten a chance to look around? What do you think?”

“She’s something else, Commander. It’s an honor to be here for her first real test,” Kaidan answered as a little smile escaped his firmly professional facade.

“Glad to hear it,” she responded with a grin. There was some small hint of danger in that expression, against all logic. He wasn’t entirely sure what that little internal warning bell really meant.

“Shepard,” came a familiar voice. All of their heads snapped around to face the direction from which it had come. Few ignored the ship’s highly-decorated captain, after all.

“Gentlemen,” the commander offered, with a nod of her head. She turned and walked at a brisk pace to meet up with Anderson.

Once she was out of earshot, Jenkins set the datapad aside, clearly no longer interested in keeping up the illusion that he knew what he knew anything about engineering and calibration. “She seems nice enough,” he began. “With her reputation, I thought she was going to be a bigger hardass than Anderson.”

Kaidan merely shrugged his shoulders. He crouched down to finish his work. “We’ll see.”


	2. Chapter 2

“I don’t get it. Why the hell would we need weapons on Eden Prime?” There was real worry written in the corporal’s expression as he stared at the open locker that still housed his weapons.

“I’m not sure. I don’t have any more information than you do,” Kaidan’s brow furrowed as he quickly checked his pistol and stowed it in it’s holster.

“You talked to Shepard, though, didn’t you?” There was a desperate edge to Jenkins’ voice that the lieutenant hadn’t ever heard before.

“I did, but that was before all hell broke loose, apparently.” Kaidan pulled his gloves on and took a deep breath. He didn’t like delving into the unknown. His brief interlude with Shepard and Joker in the cockpit had nothing to do with what was going on, as far as he knew. “All I know is that there’s an unknown ship and something called a beacon on Eden Prime, and we’re probably supposed to do something about them both.”

“Who would attack Eden Prime? There’s nothing there.” Jenkins, while fully outfitted in his armor, was still staring into his locker, motionless.

The lieutenant reached across and in front of him without a word, taking hold of the assault rifle in his locker that he’d been staring at for a little too long now. He held it out for Jenkins to take. “Just take it with you. There’s no guarantee that you’ll have to use it. No harm in being overly prepared, right?”

Jenkins slowly nodded and reluctantly took the weapon from his friend’s grasp. He slowly slid it into place on his back and mirrored Kaidan’s movements in retrieving their helmets. They made their way to a rather restless-looking Commander Shepard’s side and waited to be deployed.

*****  
A sudden dip of his head awoke the exhausted soldier from his brief dozing. Kaidan blinked himself back to reality and was hit with another wave of guilt. His amber gaze drifted over to the table nearby and landed on the commander’s prone silhouette, still unconscious. He swept a hand through his hair and sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees. It had been a terrible day.

Eden Prime had been a complete disaster.

Kaidan stared at the floor as he remembered the moment they’d touched down. The ground trembling beneath their feet and the gunfire ringing out in the distance. The so-called paradise had become a warzone, all right under the noses of the Alliance, it seemed.

Jenkins had been upset. Kaidan had seen the color drain from his face even through his helmet as they surveyed what was left of his childhood home. He should have taken point in front of the corporal, but he didn’t. He’d followed his orders and now Jenkins was dead. There was no guarantee that Kaidan would have lived through the encounter with the geth and the monsters they’d created, but he could have… should have done something to help his friend. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, knowing that a headache was coming on.

A quiet swish signaled the opening of the door to the med bay. Kaidan didn’t even bother to look up, knowing that Dr. Chakwas had been coming and going at a heightened pace due to her research on the prothean beacon and what effects it might have on the human mind. Asking her about Shepard’s condition again was probably only going to garner another stern talk about how he should get some proper rest. The pair had essentially agreed to disagree on that topic earlier in the… day? Evening? He had no idea how long it had been.

A phantom mug appeared in the periphery of his vision. Glancing at it and the hand that held it, he slowly came to realize that it was the new arrival Ashley Williams that had joined him in the med bay this time, not Dr. Chakwas. He accepted the offered beverage, breathing in the steamy, familiar scent of acrid Alliance bulk coffee, and he was so grateful for it. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” Williams quietly replied. Her dark eyes shifted to the resting figure for a moment before she asked. “Any changes?”

“Not yet,” Kaidan began, his voice hoarse from disuse. He sipped at the coffee briefly before continuing. “Somewhere between a coma and sleep, apparently. She doesn’t respond to external stimuli, but Dr. Chakwas says she’s dreaming. It’s crazy. I just hope she comes out of it soon.”

“She seems like a fighter. I’m sure she will,” Ashley commented as she crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall. “She’d better. I need to shake her hand and thank her for pulling my ass out of the fire.”

Kaidan chuckled, though the amusement quickly melted from his expression. “Hey,” he quietly began. “I’m sorry about the rest of the 212. I wish we could have gotten there sooner.”

The gunnery chief stiffened for a moment, her eyes shifting to the floor. “Me, too,” she responded at last. “But I wasn’t expecting anyone to show up, really. I figured I was going to die out there. I appreciate you not letting that happen. I’ll have to make it up to you sometime.”

“Soldiers have to stick together, right?” Kaidan ruefully responded, feeling his gut twist at the fate of both the commander and the corporal. Had he been better prepared or more alert, he might have been able to stop some of this. Maybe.

“Sorry about Jenkins,” Ashley quietly added as her fingertips drummed against the mug from which she’d been sipping. “We lost a lot of good people down there.”

“Yeah,” Kaidan answered, not quite sure how to respond. She was right, and he appreciated the condolences, but it all felt a bit empty to him at that moment. He realized that his words of comfort might have sounded that way to her, too. Funny, that. He shook his head to himself.

“Well,” the gunnery chief began as she stretched her arms out and over her head, careful not to spill a drop of her coffee. “Just came in to see how she was doing and making sure that you’re not banging your head against a wall in here.”

“Not yet,” Kaidan chuckled.

“This wasn’t your fault,” she rather bluntly commented with a gesture of her free hand to the table where Shepard still rested.

“Yeah, it sorta was.” By ‘sorta,’ he meant ‘definitely.’ He’d gotten to close to that stupid beacon. He could hear it humming, feel the energy buzzing just under its sleek surface. It reminded him of biotics. If he hadn’t been so curious to know what made it tick… if he’d been more cautious about approaching unknown alien technology… if he’d just been less of a fool…

“You couldn’t have known. She couldn’t have known. It was just an accident.” Ashley took a drink from her mug, rather skillfully disguising the grimace that he was sure was threatening to emerge at the taste. “Trust me. I was there.”

The smirk that swept across her lips at that confident statement made Kaidan smile. He took a deep breath and turned his gaze back to the strangely still commander for a moment. Ashley might have been right, but he still felt solely responsible for her condition. If he wouldn’t have gotten too close to that prothean technology, she wouldn’t have had to jump in to save him and pull him away. Shepard wouldn’t have had to take the blow herself.

“Alright, LT,” the gunnery chief said as she turned towards the door. “Keep watching her sleep like a creeper weirdo, but don’t beat yourself up over it too badly, okay?”

He raised an eyebrow at her. He wasn’t a ‘creeper weirdo’ at all. “I’m a medic, you know. I feel obligated to monitor her progress.”

Kaidan thought he sensed some sort of stifled chuckle, but he couldn’t be sure since she wasn’t facing him any longer. She didn’t turn to dispute the statement, so he might have been mistaken. She merely nodded her head and offered a quick wave of her hand as she strolled out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

An uncontrolled jerk of all of her limbs finally wrested the troubled commander from her sleep. When her eyes snapped open, she was thankful that she wasn’t seeing the nightmarish images that had been flashing through her mind’s eye for what felt like an eternity. She saw only a simple ceiling, not planets being crushed or murderous intent. She took a deep breath and slowly moved to sit up.

Lia heard voices, but they didn’t really register in her current state of bewilderment. She was too busy trying to piece together what had happened to land her in this place, this… medbay. On the Normandy. Had she passed out?

Within moments, the lieutenant and the doctor were there, checking her vitals and shining lights in her eyes. She knew they were trying to help, that they’d probably been concerned about her well-being, but she felt surprisingly… okay. Confused, but okay.

The commander remembered… an explosion. Before the flood of images, she remembered being knocked off of her feet. She’d been on Eden Prime. There were geth and mutilated humans and a giant ship of unknown origin and a dead Spectre. And now she was here.

When Lia looked at Dr. Chakwas, she saw a very professional calm. She diligently looked over the readings she’d taken and appeared quite content with the results. The commander assumed that that was a good thing. When she glanced in Kaidan’s direction, she saw clear relief written in his expression. He looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept in a long, long time. She wondered why he’d be in such a state, but then she recalled how she’d been caught in the blast of the beacon in the first place. She’d pulled him out of the way and ended up under its influence instead. He probably thought that this had all been his fault.

Shepard took a brief moment to thank and reassure him that none of this had been his doing and that she was okay. A little relieved smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. She couldn’t get the sight of it out of her mind. It shuffled its way in and among the visions somehow, which was both perplexing and alarming. Her brain felt as though it was a little off-kilter, though, so perhaps that couldn’t be helped. All she could do was hope that any damage that had been done wouldn’t be permanent.

Captain Anderson appeared suddenly in the medbay, and Lia was forced to concentrate and try to gather her thoughts and memories into a cohesive picture of exactly what had happened on Eden Prime. The effort of it was more challenging than she’d initially anticipated. The horrifying images had been so vivid that she wasn’t truly sure where gruesome reality ended and the hellish nightmare had begun. She tried her best to put the entire experience into words, but knew that she was struggling. It seemed enough, however, to convince the captain to see the Council and get this mess with Saren and the beacon and Eden Prime and the Spectres sorted.

Anderson left the medbay to make arrangements for their return to the Citadel and Lia was left stunned and exhausted, leaning heavily on the table in the medbay. She tried to wrap her head around what, exactly, was happening, what all of this unexpected violence really meant in a wider sense, but in her current state, she wasn’t getting anywhere.

“Do relax, Commander. We’ll be at the Citadel soon enough,” came the soothing, motherly tone of Dr. Chakwas. She was already sitting at her computer and beginning her work, though Shepard hadn’t even heard her enter the room after Anderson had left. She was really off of her game, it seemed.

“Thanks for patching me up, Dr. Chakwas,” Lia said as she moved to sit down for a moment. She realized she needed to take it a bit slower.

“I’m pleased to say that there was very little ‘patching’ to be done, Commander. A fascinating case, to be sure. I’m told it was some sort of prothean technology that put you in this state, and I’ve been contacting colleagues and doing my own research to figure out just how dangerous the effects could be.”

Lia swallowed hard. “So? What’s the prognosis?”

Chakwas chuckled. “I can’t say there’s any leading authority on the effects of prothean technology when directly linked with the the human mind, but I believe it’s a fair assumption that this could have been much, much worse.”

Shepard’s gaze shifted from the doctor to the floor. Her brain felt like mush and it wasn’t exactly thrilling, but she was alive, at the very least.. “That’s… good to know, I suppose.”

“To be perfectly honest, Commander, I should be thanking you. If the lieutenant had been left to take that assault on his mind… well… I might have had a lot of complicated work on my hands. And that’s if we were lucky.”

Lia’s brow furrowed. It didn’t make sense as to why he might suffer any more than she did. He seemed just as strong and capable as she was. She hadn’t really had a lot of time to talk to him, but she knew the basics. “Because he’s a biotic?”

The doctor chuckled. “In a very simplified manner of speaking, yes. The lieutenant is a very capable soldier, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. He does, however, possess a biotic implant that has proven… problematic in most cases. Through my research I’m led to believe that if he would have been the one to take the mental barrage from that beacon, his implant wouldn’t have survived.”

“And he wouldn’t, either?”

“To be quite honest, death in a failure of that magnitude would be merciful.”

Shepard nodded slowly, a lump forming in her throat. She hadn’t thought of anything like that. She’d just reacted. Obviously she’d been aware that Kaidan was a biotic, but she hadn’t considered how his implant really worked, and how he might be at a severe disadvantage in certain situations. Suddenly she was very happy to know that her gut instinct had been right, because it would have been terrible to lose him, too. There had already been quite enough loss for one mission.

She stood, still a little woozy, but suddenly recognizing that she’d done the right thing and needed to take advantage of her newly-realized good luck. This wasn’t the time for a pity party about the assault on her senses. She’d been asleep for far too long already and there was plenty of work to do.

“Be careful, Commander. You really should rest a while longer,” Dr. Chakwas said from around her computer when she spied movement.

Lia was already halfway out the door, determination in her steps and humor in her tone. “Thanks, Doc. I’ll rest when I’m dead.”

“No need to rush to get there…” Chakwas trailed off with a sigh as the door slid shut behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

“Big place.” Kaidan stared out, awestruck by the massive station. He’d never seen anything like it. The pictures and vids didn’t do it justice, that was certain. The Normandy looked downright tiny compared to some of the vessels roaming Citadel space. It was humbling and exciting at the same time.

As he fell into stride behind the commander and the gunnery chief, he wondered why he’d never tried to come here before. It was a bustling metropolis with all sorts of people living in harmony, after all. What’s not to love?

The moment he stepped into the office of the human ambassador, however, Kaidan was swiftly reminded of why he’d never come here before now. Politics and struggle with the Council and the general distaste that other races seemed to harbor for humans all dimmed the splendor of the immense station in his eyes. Their race wasn’t particularly popular and outbursts from Ambassador Udina didn’t seem to be helping. Still, it was hard to believe that he was standing as witness to the leadership of the galaxy, even if their images were mere projections on the far wall. While the lieutenant wanted to step up and help everyone to take a breath and calm down, he knew better than to overstep his bounds. This wasn’t even the official hearing with the Council, after all. Maybe the Council, Udina, Anderson, and Shepard could get it all out of their system before then. For now, he elected to stand in the background, uncomfortable with the yelling and wishing everyone would just let Shepard speak. He was just as curious as they were to hear more details about what she’d seen as a result of that strange beacon. It could be vital information… if they’d just let her describe it.

“This place sucks,” Ashley muttered under her breath. He couldn’t help but smile at her bluntness sometimes.

“Just appreciate the beauty, maybe. Ignore the… well, everything else,” Kaidan quietly offered. A quick glance revealed Udina, Anderson, and Shepard wrapped up in their own heated discussion.

“These people don’t want to help us,” Ashley responded as she turned toward the balcony, with its lovely green scenery and fountains below. “Why should they? It doesn’t benefit them at all.”

“Well, they did just lose two Spectres, technically, so they might care. A little.” Kaidan, like Ashley and most other soldiers, cared little for politics, but he had a knack for reasoning through things from other points of view.

Ashley scoffed. “They think they’ve only lost one. That kind of thing probably happens every day.”

“And it’s our job to provide them with the truth.”

The gunnery chief smiled and shook her head. “Spoken like a proper Alliance soldier.”

Kaidan wasn’t sure if she was being sarcastic and making fun of him, but it really didn’t bother him either way. That was their goal in coming here, after all. They had a duty to provide the Council with vital information. He couldn’t stop the ambassador from turning it into a political move, but that was above his pay grade anyway.

“Let’s get out of here,” came Shepard’s exasperated tone. She still held her head high, despite the irritation he could see in her expression. As he followed her out of the room, the lieutenant wanted to ask how she was doing, but he had the feeling that he should just keep his mouth shut and follow as instructed.

“Hey, Commander,” Ashley started, breaking the long silence between the three as they weaved their way through the Citadel. “We should come up with a signal of when someone needs to be punched in the face. Then, you can just give the word and the LT and I will handle it.”

“Don’t bring me into this,” Kaidan responded with a chuckle, holding up his hands in mock surrender.

The commander kept walking, though she remained silent for a few long moments. When finally she spoke, her tone was measured and stern. “I’d hate to think that you’re suggesting that I coordinate with you to bestow premeditated physical harm upon our superiors.”

Kaidan’s gaze snapped quickly to the gunnery chief at his side. Her calm facade seemed to crack for a moment when they both realized that the joke might not have been taken as intended. Her jaw hung open slightly, as though she was searching for a response that wouldn’t land her in a mess of trouble. The lieutenant, meanwhile, could do little but shrug his shoulders in baffled surprise. Clearly they didn’t know her well enough to make such casual commentary, but it was too late now.

The tension visibly, if only slightly, eased from Shepard’s shoulders, and Kaidan could hear the smile on her lips as she spoke. “Rest assured, Williams, if I feel the need for something like that to happen, I’m more than happy to take care of it myself. There’s no sense in getting you into trouble, too.”

“Aye-aye, Ma’am” Ashley answered, with a quick salute. She didn’t say anything further on the subject, but Kaidan could see the relief in the sizable exhale of her held breath.

When the commander finally laughed, he did, too. It was good to know that she had a sense of humor. He’d noticed that the further up the chain someone moved, the more hard-nosed they became. It was good to know that the commander hadn’t reached that point. Yet. Suddenly, he was very curious to know more.

Kaidan was able to observe her interacting with all sorts of people. She chatted with a fascinating elcor and his counterpart, a rather unpleasant volus. She spoke to Alliance soldiers and the grumpy turian head of Citadel Security. She handled them all with respect and professionalism, even if some of them, in his opinion, weren’t affording her the same courtesy.

It wasn’t until his feet began to ache and Shepard had seemingly talked to everyone in the Presidium that the lieutenant realized that something was off. Her expression was blank as she stared down at the transportation console. She was either hesitant to make a selection or she was having a mild seizure. It was difficult to tell.

Kaidan cleared his throat and addressed her, “uh… Commander?”

Shepard turned her attention to him at the sound. That was a good sign.

“Everything okay?”

“What? Of course.” The woman’s fingers quickly tapped the controls on the console. “Why do you ask?”

“Just checking. If I were in your shoes I’d be looking for a way to avoid meeting with the Council,” he answered with a sheepish grin.

“That obvious, huh?”

“Say the word and someone’s getting punched in the face,” Ashley quickly exclaimed with a chuckle, emphasizing her point with a slam of her fist into the opposite palm. 

“I’m just… I want to be careful about what I say. It’s probably a very thin line between explaining a vision triggered by prothean technology and sounding like a complete lunatic,” Shepard explained.

Kaidan nodded. Now that she said it, it did seem a little outlandish. He realized then that it was strange that he’d believed her so absolutely and without question. Perhaps it was because he’d been there and initiated the contact with the prothean beacon himself, perhaps it was the conviction with which she spoke, perhaps he just _wanted_ to believe. He had to take her word for it, but he willingly did so. Surely the Council would, too.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have any reassuring words or advice to offer. This was a difficult situation and all he could do was be there for her. “We’ve got your back, Commander.”

She sighed and offered a wry grin. “Then let’s go.”


	5. Chapter 5

Shepard had walked with her head held high, still internally flooded with adrenaline and frustration. She’d sounded just as crazy as she had anticipated as she stood before the Council and tried to explain what, exactly, had happened on Eden Prime. Her fingers instinctively flexed when she thought of that projection of Saren, haughtily brushing off her claims. She’d never wanted to punch someone so hard in her life. Innocent people had died out there, including another Spectre. There had been a witness. There was evidence. Still, the Council didn’t seem to care.

She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. She wasn’t alone in this, by any stretch of the imagination. Ambassador Udina and Captain Anderson were just as frustrated, maybe even more so than she was. Even in the short time they’d been discussing the situation on the Citadel, they’d impressed upon her the importance of a human becoming a Spectre. While she never really believed she was in consideration for such a position, they seemed to be enthralled by the prospect. They had to be doubly disappointed now that her credibility had been called into question. The Council claimed that her accusations against Saren were a completely unrelated topic from her potential as a Spectre, but that’s not really how the galaxy worked. Shepard knew better than to get her hopes up, and she didn’t understand why the ambassador and the captain didn’t recognize it as well.

It was only after that disaster of a meeting that the commander had managed to get a little more information about Anderson’s history with Saren. She shook her head when she realized that that would have been helpful to know _before_ they’d gone into that discussion. It might not have changed anything, but it did shed some light on why Anderson had reacted so quickly to her report of Eden Prime and why he carried this Spectre thing so close to his heart. Also, awareness of the hatred she sensed between Captain and Spectre would have been nice ahead of time. She wouldn’t have been caught off guard by the accused turian’s tone and scathing commentary directed at her and her commanding officer. It couldn’t be helped now, of course. It was over.

“This way, I think,” Ashley said as she pointed down another seemingly endless walkway that wound through the Citadel. They were on the hunt for a turian they’d encountered just before that awful Council meeting. He’d seemed bent on proving that Saren was guilty of something, and since she’d come up with no other solid proof herself, she was interested in seeing what, if anything, he’d managed to find. The problem was that they’d lost track of him.

“What was his name again?” the commander huffed as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. The dull ache in her head after her encounter with the prothean beacon was beginning to intensify. It had been a very long day and was beginning to wear on her just a little.

“Garrus,” Kaidan responded. “If you’d like, Commander, Williams and I could track him down and meet with you later…”

“No, no,” she responded with a wave of her hand. “I got myself into this mess. The least I could do is wander aimlessly to find a way out.”

A disgusted noise escaped the gunnery chief. While Shepard had been rather looking forward to stopping by a bar on their next task for her own reasons, this wasn’t exactly the sort of establishment she’d expected.

No sooner had she spied the somewhat suggestive outer signage of Chora’s Den than she was under fire. Shepard made a move to shove her teammates downward to cover, but they’d instinctively acted just as quickly as she had.

“I can only assume that this is some sort of welcome custom on the Citadel,” she commented as she pulled her pistol from her side.

“Well let’s hope it doesn’t happen every time we get here. I could see it getting old,” the gunnery chief responded.

Kaidan carefully turned to get a look at their assailants. He was swiftly rewarded with a shot that ricocheted off of the wall that nearly hit him in the head. “I think those are Saren’s men.”

“Perfect,” Shepard answered, feeling her pulse quicken already. Not only were people shooting at her again, but they were Saren’s people. Wonderful. She sighed heavily as she accessed her omni-tool, annoyance clearly punctuating each tap of the controls. She threw her arm forward, launching an overload at one of her opponents and quickly finishing him off with a couple of quick shots to the head while his equipment malfunctioned.

Another of her opponents rose up into the air, much to his surprise, it seemed, given the initial flailing and then the hurry to regain aim and fire. Unfortunately, he already had several bullets lodged in his torso courtesy of a combination effort by her lieutenant and gunnery chief.

The sudden threat was neutralized with relative ease and efficiency, though Shepard was somewhat distracted watching the door near the opposition. She hoped that no one would emerge and find themselves in the crossfire, despite the caliber of clientele that likely frequented such an establishment. Self-defense was one thing. Slaying innocents in the streets, even if by mistake, was another. She didn’t really see herself as a Spectre, but that would be a good way to guarantee that it wouldn’t happen.

Then again, maybe not. These were a Spectre’s lackeys, after all.

The commander shook her head and made her way to the door of Chora’s Den. The thumping bass helped to drown out the pained groaning of the men they’d just incapacitated and reminded her to steel herself for whatever lurked inside. More assailants? Possibly. Scantily clad dancers? Definitely. She didn’t need extra motivation, of course, as she had a threat to the galaxy to neutralize, but more importantly…

...she needed a drink.


	6. Chapter 6

Trained as soldiers are to deal with threats using composure and logic, Commander Shepard appeared to be a master of it. No sooner had a gun been pulled free of a holster than she was ducking down and preparing to counterattack. She paused only to verify that these were, in fact, enemies. She worked with efficiency and sarcasm, and Kaidan hadn’t seen anything quite like it. More specifically, he was torn in how he felt about it… enthralled or afraid.

After dispatching their ambushing opposition and entering Chora’s Den, the lieutenant was in awe. It wasn’t his first time in such an establishment, of course, as the military lifestyle sometimes included going to a strip club to unwind. It might not have been his favorite activity, but it did sort of come with the territory. This place, however, had a different vibe than the typical ones he’d seen back on Earth. The fact that it was mostly asari dancing above the bar and around the room was distinctive, of course, but there wasn’t the fun, raucous mayhem of soldiers off-duty. The patrons here were business types. Quiet. Watching the scantily clad women with rapt attention. Sad. It struck him as very strange and unnerving in comparison to the clubs he’d visited back home.

“Really, LT?” Ashley commented as she caught his staring. “We’re not here for a show.”

“We’re here for a drink,” Shepard responded, already closing the distance to the bar. Normally, he might have suggested that alcohol was a poor choice when they were in the midst of an investigation, but hell, she deserved one after all of the chaos she’d been through since Eden Prime. Besides, he was too distracted trying to explain himself to a rather accusatory gunnery chief to be offering sage life advice.

“I’m not-- I mean, this isn’t--” he sighed heavily. “Do you see Harkin?”

“He could be any one of these sleezeballs,” Ashley answered with a roll of her eyes.

“Well maybe you could focus more on finding him, then?”

“Oooh, easy, LT. Just teasing.”

“I’m not the strip club type,” Kaidan admitted. While he’d been before, he didn’t really see the same draw as some of the other soldiers he’d worked with over the years. He appreciated attractive people and couldn’t fault them for making a living, but it just wasn’t all that thrilling to ogle the dancers as they moved. He’d even been mocked for chatting up the performers instead of watching them. All evidence pointed to this sort of thing not being his cup of tea.

“Now, now, children.” Shepard returned, refocused and ready to get back to work. Kaidan was beginning to suspect that he might need one, too, after dealing with Saren’s men trying to kill them just outside the club along with these two challenging soldiers at his side. This task seemed akin to herding cats… while caught in crossfire. No easy task.

“How about that one?” Williams asked as she gestured with a quick nod. Following her indication, Kaiden’s gaze landed on a disheveled, grumpy looking human male. He certainly seemed like a grizzled C-Sec sort, as the description suggested. He sat alone, drinking heavily, vaguely watching the dancers, and making inappropriate comments to the women serving him, apparently. There was no mistaking the stiffness in their gate and hateful glare when they turned to walk away from his table.

“Maybe I should go talk to him and find out,” Kaidan offered. He didn’t want to jeopardize their investigation by letting some oblivious idiot make a lewd joke with Williams or Shepard and end up accidentally causing his own death. Besides, they were trying to avoid making a scene altogether. Kaidan felt more comfortable dealing with a drunken scumbag himself.

“I can handle it,” Shepard said as she slipped past both of her companions and sidled up to the table. Ashley laughed. Kaidan cringed.

The words that tumbled from the man’s mouth in greeting to a respected, deadly, and indomitable soldier were enough to make Kaidan want to leap over the small table that separated them and grind his face in the grungy club carpet. The lieutenant felt that familiar twinge of biotic power threatening to burst forth, like electricity sparking in his hands, but Shepard didn’t flinch. He had to respect her perfect calm in the face of a terrible excuse for a human who deserved little more than a punch in the jaw.

Kaidan paused and took a moment to gather himself. He hadn’t had a reaction like that since… well… it had been a long time and he’d been under the impression that he’d put that sort of impulsive, angry reaction well behind him by now. His gaze fixed on Shepard as he tried to figure out how this situation mirrored one he’d experienced years ago. She was calm. She was confident. She could take care of herself. This man wasn’t nearly the threat that Vyrnnus was. It didn’t make any sense.

Despite Harkin’s best attempts to get under her skin, the commander received enough information to work with and find the turian they were after. The entire conversation had Kaidan’s blood boiling, and he could hardly believe that Shepard was content with simply walking away and leaving this waste of skin here to continue making other people miserable. It wasn’t a crime to be disrespectful and disgusting, he supposed, but who else had he spoken to like that? No one should have to put up with his horrific commentary and lecherous stare.

Shepard and Williams walked away from Harkin’s table, fully anticipating that Kaidan would follow. He intended to, of course, but stayed behind for a moment to address the man himself. There were a thousand things that he wanted to say, a thousand more that he wanted to do, but he settled on just a few words to make his point clear. “You’re a terrible example of humanity. She’s trying to make things right, to garner the respect for us that people like you have all but destroyed. Show some dignity. Maybe then you’ll earn the appreciation from others that you think you deserve.”

Harkin gave him a long hard stare as swallowed a gulp of his drink. He leaned back in his chair and cocked his head dismissively. “Get lost, soldier boy.”


	7. Chapter 7

“You’d think they’d have better music in the elevators in a place like the Citadel. This is even worse than back home,” Kaidan commented with a chuckle and shake of his head.

He was met with complete silence.

It could have been the rather unexpected fight at Dr. Michel’s office that had his two fellow soldiers distracted, but given that they’d been ambushed at Chora’s Den and the ladies at his side had bounced back quickly at the time, it didn’t seem so likely. He glanced at each of them, questioning what had so suddenly changed.

Shepard stood tall, staring straight ahead at the elevator doors, seemingly just waiting for them to open. She didn’t appear terribly bothered at the moment, but still she remained silent. Williams, on the other hand, was staring down at the floor, obviously lost in her own thoughts.

“Or not,” Kaidan quietly added. He shrugged his shoulders, and settled into the conversational lull once more.

“Sorry, Alenko. I’m going to have to take your word for it. I haven’t spent a lot of time on Earth,” Shepard answered at last. She glanced over her shoulder at him with a faint smile.

“Oh,” the lieutenant sluggishly responded. He knew that she’d spent much of her life aboard ships for the Alliance Navy, but it hadn’t really occurred to him that she didn’t know much about their homeworld. All at once, his favorite memories of Earth flew through his mind, and he was hit with a quick wave of homesickness. As he studied the commander, however, she didn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that she’d never done something as mundane as listen to the awful elevator music of her home planet. Well, maybe she didn’t view it as her home planet in the first place.

“I go every now and again, but I don’t spend too much time there. I’ve always got work to do somewhere else,” Shepard explained. She seemed to pick up on the fact that Kaidan was perplexed by her lack of familiarity with Earth.

“Yeah, I suppose that makes sense,” the lieutenant acknowledged. He should have known that she was too busy being one of the most impressive Alliance soldiers in recent history to take time to go sightseeing. He felt rather silly for assuming that she had that sort of freedom or even the desire to do so.

“Where’s your favorite place?” Shepard asked.

“Hmm?” Kaidan responded, not fully grasping the question, lost in his thoughts as he was.

“On Earth.”

“Oh. English Bay.” His answer was quick and definitive. He knew where he liked to be when he had a little downtime. He’d never felt so at peace than he did when he visited his parents and they sat in the setting sun, looking over English Bay.

“Canada,” the commander chuckled.

“You know the area?” Kaidan was suddenly rather impressed that she knew of the region so easily despite being generally unfamiliar with the planet as a whole.

“I’ve been to Vancouver. I’m in the Alliance, after all,” Shepard explained. He almost felt embarrassed for having asked. Of course she’d been to Vancouver. Practically all good marines and officers had at some point in their career.

“So… you’re Canadian, then? That explains a lot,” she added. His head tilted instinctively, silently questioning her meaning. “You apologize for everything.”

“Sorr--,” he caught himself, but only barely. She laughed. It was one of the best sounds he’d heard all day. Kaidan smiled in response, despite the flush he could feel creeping across his cheeks.

“I’ll be sure to check out the sweet tunes on Earth elevators the next time I’m there, on your recommendation, Lieutenant,” the commander reassured him with a mischievous curl of her lips and a certain sparkle in her eye. Kaidan nearly missed it for trying to avoid eye contact while his cheeks felt so unusually warm. The thought that immediately hit him in that moment was that he was fortunate, though he couldn’t precisely explain why.

He felt eyes boring into him, but when he glanced back up at Shepard, she’d already turned back to the elevator doors. Williams, however, had attention on him and seemed to be keenly focused to the point that it made him a little uncomfortable. Whatever she saw in him she must have found amusing, because a broad grin swept across her face, though she didn’t make any sort of comment aloud. Kaidan swept a hand through his hair to make sure that it wasn’t unchecked helmet head that was causing the issue.

When the elevator doors opened, finally, after many long, thought-provoking moments, the trio looked out upon the interior of the infamous center of Citadel Security. It would all have seemed pretty standard and quiet, people going about their business as usual if it hadn’t been for a massive form off to the side that was loudly garnering most everyone’s attention.

Kaidan had seen a krogan before, obviously, but this one seemed even more intimidating than most. He could tell by the way he carried himself that this one had seen hard battle. He certainly had the confidence and attitude to hold his own against a rather large group of C-Sec officers warily standing around him. He wouldn’t have blamed any of them for turning and retreating any moment, because the krogan seemed like he could have started and ended a war all on his own.

He shouldn’t have been surprised to watch Shepard walk straight up to him without so much as a second thought.

As he stepped closer, Kaidan could see the battle scars this krogan carried, and couldn’t help but wonder how he’d gotten them. Had it been his work as a mercenary, similar to most krogan he’d encountered? Had it been another krogan? They were known for being brawlers, especially among their own kind.

A movement out of the corner of Kaidan’s eye caught his attention. A barely perceptible shake of the gunnery chief’s head struck him as unusual. She didn’t seem to agree with what was happening. Shepard was negotiating a bit of help to find this “Fist” person that apparently would, eventually, lead them to solid evidence to use against Saren. That’s what they were here wandering the Citadel to do in the first place, wasn’t it? They, the lowly humans, needed all the help they could get to take down this very elusive and powerful criminal. Murderer. He needed to be stopped, even if they had to enlist the help of a… very scary mercenary.

Shepard had a peculiar talent of being unafraid and appealing to the values of anyone, even if she didn’t know them. It was an incredible thing to watch in action. One battle-hardened warrior to another, she immediately had the krogan, Wrex, calmed down and willing to get to work. Given the exasperated sighs of the officers nearby, she’d been able to accomplish something in thirty seconds that they’d been working on for hours. An amused smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth.

As they exited the C-Sec offices with a gigantic krogan leading the way, Kaidan hung back a step or two to quietly address Williams.

“You okay?”

She walked on in silence for a moment, seemingly torn about what to say. For a moment, he thought she was going to ask him something in return, but it appeared that she thought better of it. “I don’t want to talk about it.”


End file.
